For the Record...

For the record, there is nothing wrong with my children.  Not a thing.  They process what they hear differently than I do.  That is the way their smart brains were wired to work and it is perfect. 

They do not have a disability... that is the label given to them by some professionals somewhere who didn't really understand what was happening in their above average intellectual brains.

I agree 100% that auditory processing makes it more difficult to hear in a regular classroom environment.  Throw in neat little things like open classrooms, co-teaching and group projects and we have a regular nightmare for those who struggle with auditory processing.

I also agree 100% that the processing part makes it difficult for my kids to learn in a traditional setting where the teacher lectures and the kids take notes.  My kids were created to get their hands down and dirty with learning.  If you want them to understand how something works, please allow them to take it apart and put it back together.  (wait... wouldn't they all learn better that way?) 

I will also concede 100% that my kids have brains that work like an electrical wiring system.  If you give them a random piece of information, it won't stick.  Just like if you were wiring a building, you start with a base wire that is hooked to electricity and send the signal out to where it needs to go... that is what my kids need.  They need a spark to build on.  They need new information  linked to what is already in their brains to have it make sense.  Just like you would not just put an outlet on the wall with no wires going to it and expect it to work; don't throw out random information and expect them to file it in the right place... (once again... don't we all do better this way?)

We do our kids a disservice when we label their 'superman' hearing as a disability.  They hear the term and start to think that something is wrong with them.  It is not wrong, it is different.  We, in the field of education, need to understand how this wiring system in the brains of all those kids we have labeled as 'learning disabled' really works and then figure out how to bring out the best in every child with every wiring system. Their differences are not 'disabilities' just because the standard way of teaching is not the best way for them to learn.

As parents, when we figure out what is going on with these smart kids, we need to see the label as an explanation, not a crutch.  If my child has a 'learning disability' (and for the record, I do not like this term) I need to educate myself as to the ways my child will struggle and teach them how to succeed as best they can in the traditional classroom setting that works for 90% of the learners out there.  Then I need to figure out how my child's brain works and find ways for my child to shine so that he/she can become the best, most self-confident and successful adult he/she can become.

Something to sing about... Music therapy

For me, this is really coming full circle.  For years, I have talked to people an  why music works for those with any sort of learning  disability.  Now research is finding even more ways to back up the point...

First of all, by now, we all have a basic understanding of the brain and how it works.  We have a stimulus enter the brain, let's say a written word.  The brain takes that information, interprets it and acts on what it has learned.  When every system is working correctly, this is done with relative ease. When we start to label someone as learning disabled, we find that this system has developed a permanent glitch. Information goes in but somewhere on the way, it gets lost.  For a dyslexic, the visual cues are not processed correctly.  For someone with auditory processing disorder, it is the spoken cues that are lost or processed slowly enough that comprehension is difficult.

So, why music?  Let's keep checking out the way the brain works.  When a person looks at a piece of music, each dot on a line has to be 'read'.  That dot becomes a letter.  The brain has to take that letter and translate it to specific way to play an instrument.  All this happens at such a rapid rate that the person can play a piece of music.  The addition of the need to change the dot on the line to a letter that requires a certain body movement increases the processing speed of the brain.  For those with learning disabilities, increasing the processing speed is critical to overall success.

Let's keep on the brain study.  When a person reads a book, studies have shown that a specific area of the brain fires up and responds to the stimulus.  When a person reads a piece of music, the area of the brain that fires up is different.  This is good for two reasons.  One, for those who struggle to learn to read, presenting the information as 'music' will fire up a different area of the brain and encourage more success.  Secondly, for those who need a multi-sensory approach learning information through music provides that connection since it is processed in a different area of the brain.  (think about the ABC song and how easily even very small kids learn non-sensical letters of the alphabet)

On a totally different note...(pun intended) several studies have looked at music and the affects on the the brains of those who are stressed or have ADD/ADHD.  For one study, scientists logged the brain patterns before listening to classical music and then during.  Those brain patterns were compared to the patterns of those without ADD/ADHD.  What they found is that listening to classical music normalizes brain patterns.  So, when I start a training session in which I strengthen skills for those with learning disabilities, I start with a hands on activity and classical music.  I can watch the affect of the music on a stressed out person.  It is wonderful to see.

So, when I see facebook questions about music... I always answer with a resounding YES!!!  In one way or another, music is good for ALL learners, but especially those with a learning disorder.

Self Advocacy- A mom's perspective

When I write posts in response to comments or questions on Facebook or other social media... Often, the ones that get the most response are when I write about teaching my kids to advocate for themselves.

Finding out that something about your child is going to make it harder for them to get through life is a difficult thing.  When they are born, we just want them to have it easy. We want them to be healthy. We want them to be happy.  When they hurt, we want to take away their pain.  To find out that something isn't quite the same and that they will struggle is just devastating.

We dealt with illness starting when Seth was 2 until he was about 4 1/2.  High fevers, ear infections, pneumonia, unexplained noise bleeds, chest surgery, infections, tonsil and adnoid removal, speech struggles.  He was a sick little boy.  I learned the true meaning of the foot prints story.  The stress and emotions are over whelming and I'll never forget what I learned.  I have true empathy for parents with sick kids.

We got through all that and started to breathe, just a little.  Something still wasn't right with our little man though.  He was still struggling.  A year later, we got the diagnosis of auditory processing disorder.  We left the clinic with a handful of papers and words that still ring in my ears.  "He's going to have a hard time in school.  But there isn't anything you can do about it.  He's just going to have to learn to cope."

He struggled so much in early school; mostly socially.  He has prosodic presentation of APD and it's hard.  It's hard to be his mommy and listen to him not understanding other people.  It's hard to see him misunderstand jokes or sarcasm or just tones of people around him and watch him hurt.  He's almost 19 now and it still worries me.

What has been interesting for me is empowering him.  When he was a sophomore in high school, he came home one day quite proud of himself.  He was having a hard time hearing in science class.  I had told him to talk to the teacher, go up to his desk, stay after class.  I wanted him to learn to take care of himself.  That day, he had raised his hand and simply told the teacher, "Could you repeat that please.". When the teacher frowned, he simply said, "Remember, I'm half deaf.". The teacher smiled and repeated himself.  At first I was kind of bothered by what he had said and I asked him why he had said that.  He responded, "when I try to explain how I hear, they don't understand.  But if I say I'm half deaf, they understand and they help me." What could I say, he had figured it out.  He was advocating for himself.

On another occasion, his prosodic presentation was really bothering him.  He has an uncle who is the king of quick come backs and sarcastic responses.  Seth has a hard time getting them.  During one visit, he made a comment to his uncle that with his hearing, he really couldn't tell if he was serious or not.  The uncle looked at him and said, so what do I need to do, scratch my armpit or something if I'm kidding?. Seth responded that it would help and they did that for the remainder of the visit.  It's a running joke now.

Ben has struggled a bit more with self advocacy, but he's getting it.  He now knows that if he's struggling with test taking or assignments or notes, he can ask.  But it's  hard.  Now my nine year old it's starting to have some difficulties with tasks at school.  I am trying to teach him to ask and try to get help.  With him I still have to step in quite a bit, he's little. But I try to make him ask for help first.

I don't know what it's like to have a child with a terminal illness.  I don't know what it's like to have a child with a physical disability.  I can't speak to those struggles. I do know what it's like to worry about a child who appears to have a healthy, fully functioning body and watch them struggle and not understand.  I have been told, (by a family member) that my extremely bright child probably just wasn't cut out for private school.  I have been told that my three boys are lazy.  I've been told that they weren't performing up to their ability level.  I've been told they need to apply themselves.  I have heard the lines, I've worried. I've studied. I've written.  I've been angry. I have cried.  I continue to watch them struggle and I wonder what the plan is for their lives.

I've done all this while feeling very blessed that my children have given me the ability to have a sensitivity to the struggles of others in a way I never could have imagined.  Through them, I have also been blessed to be able to tell a story and relate to others through the unique perspective of someone who has watched and learned with and struggled with 4 different stories of becoming successful when your brain works just a little different.  I wouldn't want any of my children any other way.

WARNING!!! WARNING!!!!

I have discovered there are certain catch phrases that get my attention on a regular basis anymore.  They are phrases that I have heard said about three of my children.  They are phrases that are meant to set a tone for action and understanding.  Anymore with me, they perk my ears up and cause me to stop in my tracks.  What are these phrases?

If only he would apply himself.

She needs to take her school work more seriously.

He just doesn’t seem to be performing up to his ability level.

She is just being lazy.

He just needs to buckle down and put forth more effort.

I have heard all these phrases applied to my kids, especially Ben.  If you talk to him, you can tell he is very bright, possibly gifted.  Then you look at his work or test scores and assume that he is just a lazy child who isn’t taking things seriously. 

Honestly, you couldn’t be further from the truth.  In elementary school, Ben came home almost every night exhausted.  He had spent so much of his day trying to concentrate and hear what was going on that he was just done at the end of the school day.  His outgoing like-able personality is honestly what kept that child in the good graces of his teachers. 

What are teachers really saying when they make a comment such as those above?  They are saying that through observation, they have seen that the child is either average or above average intelligence level.  But the work they are turning in is not.  They are saying that this child should be getting excellent grades on tests, but he is not.  When that happens, they are assuming that the child is not trying as hard as they can. 

Any more, these phrases from teachers cause me to really pause.  What I have learned in the past 10 years of working with learning disabled kids is that every one of them has put forth their best effort.  Some of them have put forth their best effort for years only to have subpar grades and be called lazy.  None of these average to above average children asked to be considered slow or lazy.  They often have to work two or three times harder than their peers to get grades that are far lower. 

Eventually, they don’t try as hard.  Eventually their self esteem suffers.  Eventually they question themselves and start to feel inferior. 

As I talk with groups of teachers, I think that is one of the take aways I want them to leave with.  If you are thinking that a child in your classroom is not performing up to his or her ability level, I want them to start trying to figure out why.  

Does Brain Training Work?

                        To begin to understand how brain training works, we first need to understand where the ideas developed.  Let’s say that we have a family member who was involved in an accident.  As a result of that accident, he/she no longer remembers how to read.   Before the accident he/she was a college professor and reading is not just important part of their life, but imperative to their livelihood. 

So, once the physical wounds have healed, your family begins the arduous task of re-teaching the person to read.  Your employ occupational therapists, physical therapists, speech and language therapists.  You research and begin to find ways to help with the task.  It is a long and tedious process, made all that much more maddening because you don’t totally understand how a person who could once read at a higher level than you could, can’t tell an ‘f’ from a ‘j’. 

In their mind, what has happened is that the initial path; the easiest one for learning to read has sustained permanent damage.  The person however, knows that they want to learn to read and is trying very hard with all the people to learn to read.  Everyone is dedicated to the task at hand, including the brain of the person who was injured.  Eventually, over time and with much patience, a new path is forged and the skill of reading is slowly re-learned.  In the brain, the damaged area is not being repaired, but a new path is being forged.  Slowly and with much patience, that new path will gain strength and the task will become easier. 

Now, let’s look at the mind of a person who is learning disabled.  We have the same kind of problem.  For someone with auditory processing struggles, the ears work and the brain works, but the connection between the two gets jumbled.  When we employ brain training tactics, we are attempting to give the auditory cues a new path to follow.  The same tactics will not work for every person.  Anyone who says, this always works, makes me nervous.  The success of any program depends on the commitment of the learner and the wiring of the individuals’ mind.  

Executive Function- What is it? How does it affect the learner? What can we do to help?

The term gets thrown around like everyone should know and understand what it is.  I have learned that most don't.  So let's take a few minutes and get down and dirty with executive functioning and look at how not having the skill can impact your day.  Then, we will briefly come up with a few ways to help those who struggle with it.

Executive function is our ability to make a plan, come up with the steps we need to follow the plan and then follow through with that plan.  It is our ability to figure out what we need to do to fix our breakfast or pack our lunch.  It is the ability to realize what we need to do to hang a picture or fix a clogged drain.  In our mind, we need to be able to see the whole activity, decide what we will need to complete the task, assemble the tools we need to complete that task and then see the task from beginning to end.  

I am a mother of 4 children.  I have one in elementary school, one in middle school, one in high school and one in college.  Two are in scouts, two are playing basketball, two have jobs.  We have four drivers, four cars and four school and work schedules, my husband working 30 miles north of the house and me working 25 miles south of it.  In the morning, I have to make sure I know where everyone will be for the entire day.  I make sure that everyone will have a car and a ride where ever they need to go and be picked up from. Lunch money, field trips, deadlines, gas money all have to be coordinated.  I usually have some sort of plan for dinner before I leave for work in the morning too.  Making a plan, even for a large family is usually not a problem for me.   My executive function works well.  

My husband struggles with it though.  (In the past year, with the help of the calendar on his phone, he is getting much better)  He has been called at home to see how far he is from the office because his appointment, that he forgot about, is there.  He has forgotten meetings or not realized he had people coming in.  He has traveled and not had gas money or money for lunch.  At the house, he is known for starting on a job and needing a runner to get the things he needs to complete the job because he does not have all the tools necessary.  

What does this look like for a student?  Quite honestly, it can make a normal day impossible.  I have known executive function struggles to cause such severe anxiety that it can render a person almost dysfunctional.  One student I worked with carried everything she needed for school, all day, every day in two backpacks.  She didn't use her locker.  She was afraid she would arrive at math class without her calculator or science class without her book.  She might not have put her homework for French in the correct binder, (if she had remembered to bring it to school) and would get a zero if she didn't turn it in.  A child who struggles with executive function is the one who never has binder, book, homework or pencil.  They are the student who can't do a project without 17 trips around the classroom to get each thing they need to complete it.  They are also the student who never makes it home with their homework or back to school with their book.  

So what do we do with this child to help establish habits to encourage success?  The younger the student when we realize they are struggling, the more we can offer help.  To begin with play games that encourage the use of strategy.  Games like chess and checkers, mancala... even Life, Uno and Connect 4 all require the person to think ahead, come up with a plan and then follow through with that plan to win.   Having the person help plan events will help too.  It doesn't have to be a big event, it can be as simple as going to the grocery store.  We are going to the grocery store, what do we need to do to get ready?  Have them help come up with a list.  Have them take the list and find the right coupons.  Do you need recycled bags?  

Executive function is critical to the success of a student.  The use of calendars, planners and other means of scheduling can help a lot.  Teaching them to plan and strategize also helps.  While not having it can be quite detrimental, it can be coped with utilizing tools.  

The "Disability" Label

I will have to say that from Day 1 when I heard the term 'learning disability' I have cringed. My husband and 3 of my children have auditory processing disorder.  However, They are not disabled. Their ears work just fine.  They all have average to above average intelligence levels as does every person I have met yet with APD, which means that their minds work just fine too.  To have to refer to people who don't have anything wrong with them as 'disabled' just does not work well for me.  

I am not delusional.  I know that they are at a disadvantage when it comes to learning in the traditional classroom.  I know that they are at a disadvantage when it comes to social situations and they often misinterpret what they hear in those settings.  Those with auditory processing disorders usually also struggle with short term memory, executive function, comprehension, organization and/or social situations.  But they are not disabled.  

They learn differently.  Because the traditional way in which information is obtained is difficult for them, they have learned to compensate by finding new ways to learn.  While many of us can listen to information and learn it, they have to see it, touch it, tear it apart and figure it out.  Those who learn differently have a tendency to think outside the box and can teach those who are good at traditional learning a thing or two.  NASA actually looks for people who have been diagnosed as dyslexic as they know those people have had to work exceptionally hard to get where they are and that they think outside the box.  

Personally, I am leaning towards an overall label of something like "learning differences" and then sub labels of the areas where that learner struggles.  So for my oldest son, he would be learning differences: auditory and social.  My second son has a learning difference: auditory, visual, short term memory and organization.  My husband has a learning difference, specifically he struggles with auditory, executive function and  social.  A dear friend of mine has a learning difference.  He struggles with auditory, processing and organization.  

We need to find a way to specify the exact ways in each learner needs help.  To just find one label really does not do the learner justice.  There is never just one way in which the learner is affected.  And every individual person is affected differently.  As you identify your learner, figure out the ways he/she struggles, make sure they understand and then give them the tools they need to succeed.  If they struggle with organization, find ways to help them get organized.  If they struggle with short term memory, find ways to work their memory.  The most important piece, however, is to stop calling them 'disabled' and to empower them and teach them how to make the best of the way their brain was wired and they will succeed.   

Growing Up With Prosodic Presentation of APD

When I give talks, I tell people that the prosodic presentation can be the most difficult piece of the puzzle.  My oldest has it and so does my husband.  Teddy has it too, but it looks different in him.  Prosodic means that while you are trying hard to decode exactly what words are being said, you loose the ability to decode the meaning of those words.  The question, "What are you doing?" can either be said by someone showing interest or someone who is questioning your motives.  For someone who has the prosodic presentation, the latter is often assumed.

For Seth, it has been a struggle all his life to try to realize that people are not always mad at him.  Because he doesn't 'hear' the irony or sarcasm in someones voice, he usually assumes the worse.  He hears people being upset with him and angry with him, all the time.  In the hallways at school, he was always questioning why someone would call him a name or why teachers were singling him out.

When he was in second grade, he was the child who thought kids were always picking on him and laughing at him.  He sat in the back corner of his classroom and cried when others talked to him.  At recess, he often hung out by the teacher so that he felt safe from childhood messing around.  He switched schools in middle school and finally started coming out of his shell a little bit.  He started to make friends with a couple of great kids who remain friendly today.  When he started high school in a small rural environment, we were very concerned for him.  His graduating class of 40 only had 5 boys and they didn't share any real interests with him.  Seth did begin to make friends in high school though and gained a large group of people who were friendly with him.  Seth also began to advocate for himself which made him a much more successful student and helped with his self confidence.

Becoming involved in sports such as cheerleading and baseball and in clubs like DECA and FFA helped him gain even more confidence.  In college now, Seth continues to struggle to maintain successful relationships with his peers.  As his mom, I continue to try to encourage him to watch body language and assume people are being good, but it is hard.  Seth is wanting to leave home and go out on his own for school.  I continue to pray for him as he moves forward with his life.  His potential is huge.  He is bright and good looking.  He is a real go-getter having started his own business and financed a vehicle already.  I hope he continues to grow in understanding of the way his APD affects his social relationships so he does what I want him to do most; be happy.  

Some of the things I have learned...

Patience is a virtue that a mother of a child with learning issues must learn to not only develop but to hone and practice... DAILY.

Vacation:  Teachers are not teaching because of the vacation or because it is an easy pay check.  I was a classroom teacher first... I absolutely know this for a fact.  Teaching is physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting.. five days a week.  You wake up and go to sleep thinking about the child you can't reach or the one that you did.  You cry because you don't understand how anyone could do ___ to a child and justify it.  You see the kids in the grocery store and at the gym and in church.  Teaching is a way of life, not a job.  You do it because you love it.  

Cooler Heads:  Keeping this in mind, when your child struggles to learn in the way that the one teacher you seem to have every year, who will not work with your child, will help you not tear her head off when you have to point out; for the 12 time, that your child is supposed to have notes provided to him.  It also helps to type out that email... the one you wrote when you were on the 3rd hour of homework and headed for the 5th meltdown and send it to a friend not to the teacher.  Then retype that email the next morning when level heads prevail.  

Claws:  If your child is the one and only you have to struggle with to get through school and your child attends a large school, you are in luck.  You can show those momma bear claws a little more often and get accomplished what you need.  If you have 4 children, 3 of whom need understanding, you have to constantly figure out what the line is between supporting your first child and making sure you can show your face to that same teacher when the 4th child enters that same classroom, 10 years later.

Flexibility:  There are no right answers.  What is right for this child, this year, may not be what works for the same child the next.  It definitely will not be what works for another child.. no matter how much sense it made.  Each teacher understands things at a different level.  Learning to explain exactly what things are like for your child in many many ways will help each teacher better understand what they can do to help. 

Self-Confidence/Self Advocacy:  Quite honestly, the best and most important thing you can do to make sure your child succeeds is to make sure they understand a couple very important things.  First, they are absolutely perfect just the way they are.  Because they are not wired the same as most of the rest of their class makes them unique and amazing and you wouldn't want them any other way.  Just because they can perform well on one certain test does not mean they are not smart, it means they can't perform well on that test.  Second, they have the right to ask questions until they understand.  They can ask all the questions they need to get the page or the assignment or what ever they need to succeed.  If the teacher is not cooperative, then you will step in and make sure they do.   No matter what, you have their back.  

Second diagnosis...

Ben, our second son, is a social butterfly and has been since birth. He repeated his first word at 4 months..."BOO". We didn't realize he was struggling until he was in middle school and had gone from one teacher who knew him well and worked with his short comings to 7 teachers who didn't. It was the same time when he went from A's and B's to D's and F's. It is also when we realized that in our household, APD was a hereditary issue passed down from father to sons. It was the year Ben was diagnosed with APD and we began recognizing symptoms in his then 4 year old brother.

Ben struggles with volume control. In trying to hear his own voice in his head like he should, he raises his voice above the level he should. What stands out in presentations for Ben are associative and output /organization. His short term memory is almost non-existent and always has been. Before we knew what was going on with him, we called him 'squirrel' because it was so easy to get him off task. Ben does not organize his personal space at all, at home at school... anywhere. To me, his space looks like his mind. Information goes in, but it is all over the place-unorganized. His key phrase for me is, "wait... what?" I know now that he says this when he is just not processing what is going on and needs it repeated or more time. My goal with Ben is to create a successful adult... school will be something we get through on the way there.